Sry I called you an 8
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
