I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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