His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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