so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
