You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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