one two three fourrrrnication!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
