and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
