Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
