well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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