I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
