Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
