And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
