Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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