Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
