Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
