Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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