at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
