even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
