Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
