i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
