considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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