I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
