so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I think a kid would responsible me up
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
