Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
