come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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