how do flat chested girls get laid?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
