Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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