Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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