i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
