Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
