hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
