I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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