The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
FUCK WHALES
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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