There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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