I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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