i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
