Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Girls should come with a carfax report
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
