After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize