just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
