South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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