Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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