just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
