I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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