He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
