I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
