i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
