i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
