Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
