Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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