could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
