Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
