Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
