We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
