I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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