You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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