I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize