I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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