hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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