Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
i need to put some appletini on your dick
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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