also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
