Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize