please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
im about as happy as oj after his trial
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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