Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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