Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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