Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
this hospital has no fireball
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize